Nickname:Capcap, Cap'n, Sir, Boss, Chief, Han Solo Jr., Clambake Mahoney
City/Town of Residence: various throughout the universe/Shazzbot space winnebago
Birth date: May 16th
When and where did you first lay eyes on a LesserEvil Snack?
Me and the rest of the 'Bots had just finished a string of gigs on the planet Earth. We were heading out for a long tour of the moons of Jupiter and we needed to stock up on supplies before we left. So, me and Scopes (our ship's navigator and cook) head over to this store called Target, on account of it's a good place to get all your supplies (both food related and toy related). I tell ya, those bags of Krinkle Sticks caught our eye right away. And "LesserEvil" is something the Shazzbots could get behind. Needless to say, somewhere around Mars, me and the rest of the crew realized those little sticks of krinkleness were (wait for it...) OUT OF THIS WORLD!
What does "Snackcident" mean to you?
So, when you're in a spacefarin' kids rock band on DAY 3/GIG 7 of say, a tour of the moons of Jupiter, you may need a little something to tide you over until that dinner-bell rings back on the ship sometime after GIG 8, 'cause everybody knows you just can't rock with a growlin' belly. You, my friend, are smackdab in the middle of a textbook "snackcident."
What do you do?
What do you do?!
Tell us about the Wackiest Snackcident you've witnessed or personally experienced:
We've got this crazy little dude that plays the lead guitar in the Shazzbots. His name is Professor Swiss Vanderburton. He also happens to be the chief science officer on the ship as well as the head shenanigans causer. This one day, we were on our way to a show on Tatooine. Professor was up in his lab working on his new teleportation device. And, guess what? He got the wires crossed (as usual) and the thing went haywire. Into the teleportation pad pops a snackapotomus, which looks exactly like a Earth hippopotamus except it's a third of the size with triple the appetite. Of course, our resident veterinarian, Debora Nebula, knew that we needed to start feeding this thing snacks ASAP, or it's stomach would start growlin'. Now, if you've never heard a snackapotomus' belly growl, consider yourself lucky. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard, a garbage disposal with a spoon in it and a dog whistle all mixed together and coming through a megaphone turned up to eleven. So, we start feeding it all the chips and pretzels and nuts we had on the ship, while Professor and Watts (ship's engineer) tried to fix the teleporter. That hungry sonofagun ate through all of those snacks and we had to break into our case of beloved Krinkle Sticks. As you may have guessed, a case of Krinkles calmed that snackapotomus right down. Professor and Watts finally got the teleporter working, and we teleported the little fella (the 'potomus, not the Professor) back to it's home planet. And that's when the real snackcident happened... I was starving! We were in deep space! And our Krinkle Stick supply was completely depleted!! AAAHHHHHHHH!!! Then I remembered the bag o'sticks I had stashed in my guitar case. Whew! Hunger crisis averted... barely.
What's one thing (probably of many) that is unique about you?
I know how to play any 70's/80's TV show theme song.
What makes you "less evil"?
Everybody in the known universe knows ol' Captain Captain is the least evilest spaceship captain to ever captain a spaceship. It's true. My paw says so. If you want "most evil," you should meet my arch nemesis: Captain Magicbeard. As evil space pirates go, he's the best of the worst. I mean, his favorite snack? Raw Brussels Sprouts. See what I'm sayin'? EVIL.
Is there anything else that you would like us to know about you? Like, are you a member of any secret societies? Do tell.
I grew up on a moon rhino farm. I have a pet cat named Peanut Butter. My favorite superhero is Captain America, of course. My favorite animal is the grizzly bear. I'm a proud graduate of the Winnebago Spaceship Drivers Institute of Tuscaloosa, Alabama. And I am a member of the Secret Society of Bearded Men, but don't tell anybody.
